Tonight I Wanna Cry

Tonight I Wanna Cry
by Keith Urban

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on
The sound turned down
And a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I
On the walls around me
The way that it was
And could've been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away.

I've never been the kind
To ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong
Meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough
To let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All By Myself", would sure hit me hard
Now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold
Some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
I'll never get over you
By hiding this way.

I've never been the kind
To ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong
Meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough
To let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

I've never been the kind
To ever let my feelings show
And I thought that being strong
Meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough
To let go of my pain
To hell with this pride
Let it fall like rain from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

To let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry...
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There is no denying the fact that melancholy is the most beautiful of all the emotions and it is portrayed ever so artistically here. How Keith adds in his country flavour to the lyrics surely is a plus for the effect of the song.
The first time I heard this song, sad memories flashed through my mind and I was taken aback. It's been a while since a song has expressed my feelings so thouroughly. This is definitely a song which I commend. Do watch the video, they usually add even more effect.

Do They Know It's CNY?

Funny, this is the first year ever where Christmas, as simple as it was, was a bigger thing than Chinese New Year. It actually still is CNY now but heck, I still don't feel it. I don't really remember what it feels like. What's left is a vague impression of days of endless fun and food as I watched relatives prance in and out of the house and hand me Red Packets.
What came closest to the feeling of a celebration was how I spent my time in Genting. Went with my Mom but my intention wasn't to mingle with my cousins or to scurry up and down the arcades as I fill them to their brims with tokens. I took advantage of my time alone to catch my breath from everything I've been going through. It was time for me to actually enjoy myself. I took a solitary walk outdoors. The cool wind brushing off my cheeks really revitalized me. I didn't need to actually hear what was going on around me, my mp4 player took care of that. At full blast, I could hear all I needed to hear, as I paced my way around the mountain's roads at night. It was a beautiful night, there were short intervals where fog would set in and it felt as though someone paused a drizzle with all those droplets of water hanging in the air as they watched me pass through them. I'm sure that two hour walk all alone refreshened my mind and restored my vigor for life. I didn't do any motivational thinking, I just had to take a walk to clear my head. It's been a while since my mind was so blank even for that little while. I managed to fit in about half an our of nothing-ness into my head, now that is an achievement if you ask me. The rest of that two and more hours, I was just thinking about my life and the person I've become. I was emo-ing. The problem was that I had no one to fit into that part of the emotion where I could direct my affect to no one. No one but the hypothetical You I could make up in my head.

Now that I'm home, I really wish that I could take another walk like that and not stop walking till my legs ache and I have to sit on the ground. I went up there not for the casino, not for the theme park and not for the shopping, it was for the temperature and the air. I got what I wanted. Definitely.