In Response To A Response

Hope may be a two-edged blade but like a pen with multiple coloured inks, we can choose to ignore the other colours and use only the pink ink :)
Hope can destroy, hope can be bad, but then and again a con-man can be trusted to be dishonest.
Perspective is a powerful tool when looking at something. Perspective shapes countries, religions, families, heroes. Perspective can shape lives. Death can be seen as rebirth or the end of the road. It's all about perspective.

It isn't about which side of hope you choose. Nor is it about what you strive for. It's the choices you make along this journey. It's about how you choose to see things. Accepting one's fate for what it is isn't always the wisest choice nor is it the most adaptive decision. Our destiny is in our own hands and the only thing Man cannot control is Death. All things leading to the River Styx are our own deeds, our own choices and what choices we make are our destiny.

Hope is indeed a noun. Your definition of it? Your perspective. Your choice. Your destiny. Our hope.

Now, Back To Some Good Ol' Ranting : Reality Issues

Life serves us all our share of crap. Some get a larger plate, some get a saucer-full, some get a spoonful. Either way, all of us have to face our walls. Our walls of shit. When we hear about others' walls, we look at our own and ask ourselves, why am I so useless? Others seem to be faced with more than I am but they seem to be doing better than me. What's up with that? Some serious self-esteem issues follow, no doubt.
Why does it seem that some of us have to take blow after excruciating blow from life? If only life were like classes, where we finish one module and move on to the next. No, we have to take everything as it comes. Why?

I'm sure life isn't fair, I'm sure we can only make the best of life as it is and I'm sure I'm usually the one behind people telling them these things as they face their walls of shit but everytime I say that, my heart shatters for them. I may not be the best candidate but I do my best to support those who I've set out to. Having said that, there are times when I just feel like letting go of this silly role I've taken up as it seems so redundant but every other time, they just turn around and smile at me. They show me what I saw in them from the very beginning, the driving force that got me started. Hope.

Call me cheesy, call me stupid, call me redundant. You can't shake me. I'm going to continue doing what I love to do. I'm holding on. Even when you let go. I hope you'll do the same.

The Genting-Bentong Trip : An Extensive Account

Last Friday I received an invitation from Hui Munn, a classmate to join Bryan, Ivy, Hui Zhi and Shaun(hereafter addressed as Dong) on a trip to Genting and then onwards to Bentong. This sort of took me by suprise because I was never really that close to this group and only recently had I watched a movie with them (Mr. Bean's Holiday) and this was the first time ever I'd been out with them. Now the reason why we set out to go on vacation was centered around a barbeque in Genting at an apartment. Well, I was actually flattered by their invitation and after making some arrangements, I confirmed my attendance into their little party.

Sunday:
After packing up my stuff, I hitched a ride with my cousin to the Asia Jaya LRT station. I was supposed to let Bryan know when I would reach so that he & Dong could pick me up. When I reached it seemed that there were some complications on Shaun's part in getting his car. It seemed I had to wait a little while before my ride came along. I thank goodness for my MP4 player and JoA whom I could talk to (thru SMS). Although the music got me all emotional and I began my whole disconnection-with-reality thing and I would enter into that state and only emerged when I received a reply from JoA. After about half an hour or so of singing along to my MP4's music, Dong's car had gotten there and then off we went to Ivy's.

We first met up with the others at Ivy's apartment. Then we went grocery shopping for snacks and stuff which we would need for the BBQ and also some stuff to cook for dinner that night at Ivy's (and I just have to mention that I bought a big bottle of that yoghurt drink which I have lately been so into, it reminds me of Lassi :D). As I had insisted, Dong had brought his guitar. While the rest we were trying to get dinner ready, I (who could not really cook) stood aside and watched Munn Munn hack away at the chicken like a blacksmith melding a sword. I couldn't take it. I had to lend a hand. Afterwards, I decided to get to the guitar. After me and Dong messed about with the guitar for a bit, dinner was ready. Dinner was good. Bryan & Munn Munn were the chefs of the night and they made a great dinner. I don't know whether or not it was a compliment or just gluttony when I went for more rice. After dinner, we had some "tong sui" which was made by Ivy's relative. It was quite bland as apparently some of her relatives can't take sugar but it was still good. After that good meal, the gang began playing mahjong. No gambling involved, just wanted to mess around. While the lot was playing, I volunteered to wash the dishes as I didn't do any cooking. Dong helped me out and still I took ages to wash up... I still have serious speed issues when doing any chore. Well, after a few rounds of mahjong, Hui Zhi had to leave. We followed her out and then when she drove off into the night, we went to a mamak named NASA (note the very lame name =.=). We chilled out there and began to talk about many an interesting topic. At about midnight, we went back up to Ivy's and chilled there instead. Somewhere along in the discussion there was mention of alcohol which got me interested and the next thing we knew, we were having vodkas (yay!). We gathered around into a circle and began to chill (yes, once again). Dong & I began taking turns at the guitar which to me (being obsessed with the guitar) was probably the most central part of the night (other than the alcohol). We chatted (and I kinda played [the guitar]) the night away. Dinner in the making ala Bryan & Munn Munn

Monday:
Monday woke me up at about 9-ish with the voices of Bryan & Zhi in a conversation of which I cannot remember the content. While I had slept, Ivy had gone to pick up her Aunt's Honda City, Zhi had come back to Ivy's from her place and Bryan took photos of me and Dong asleep (the freak!). After a shower, we were ready to set out for Bentong. The ride was a rather peaceful one for me at least but I pitied the four sitting in the backseat (they threw me in front anyway, being the largest one there). We were headed for Bryan's hometown in Bentong. After about an hour and more we reached our destination, the small town of Bentong.
It seemed rather homely, a simple town with nearly everything a person could need (except for a cinema and I didn't really see any cyber cafes). I repeat that the ride was safe and also entertaining as we had Bryan & Munn Munn to entertain us (Zhi still fell asleep anyways). On reaching Bryan's abode, I noted how calm the environment he was brought up in was. We met his homies and after a brief respite, we went for lunch. Even looking for lunch was entertaining as Bryan seemingly couldn't make his mind up on where to take us and when he did, the group sort of rejected the place and we had to actually get up and walk out of the restaurant (haha). He then took us to another place across town and since the group had announced their intent to eat "dai chao", he wanted to take us to places where he thought that we wouldn't be cheated (apparently the locals there wouldn't hesitate to make a killing when they noticed that we were from out of town). The second place we stopped at was actually serving something else and directed us to a place we had already passed along the way if we indeed wanted to eat "dai chao". We made our way there with Bryan already stressed with the worry that the group was getting frustrated. What really didn't help was the fact that the place we were directed to was closed on that exact day. There was a big sign in Chinese on the gate reading: "Taking a Break - 23rd April". Just our luck. Well, Bryan had no choice but to take us back to around where the first place was to a restaurant where we finally ate. We found out that Dong had never had "Nga Pou Ham Yu Fa Lam Pou" (Claypot Pork Belly & Salted Fish) before. The horror of deprivation! Anyway, it was then that the gang commented on my being very busy with the handphone because I had been in constant conversation with JoA since Sunday. Oh well, misunderstand if you want. I would offer an explanation but that would require them to believe it right? No matter.
After lunch, we stopped back at Bryan's place to rest a bit while some of the others went out to buy the stuff we needed for the barbeque. When they got back, all was set and we were ready and with supplies in hand, we headed up to Genting (which wasn't far away from Bentong). Dong & I were to follow Bryan's car while the girls stayed in Ivy's. After a comedy-laden trip uphill (and another bottle of that yoghurt drink which we referred to as Lassi anyway), we reached our second destination in the afternoon (at about 3-ish pm). We checked in, moved our stuff into the car and then we headed up to Genting, or so we thought we would. The initial plan was to drive to the cable car station and take the ride to the peak but that wouldn't happen because we found that the station was closed for repairs (of all the days to do so they chose our day!!). After a few wrong turns and a total of 4 trips around that Police check-stop on the way up to Genting, we decided to go back to our place and just relax while we waited for the night. When we would begin our barbeque. It was at this time that the bunch asked what happenned to me (because I told JoA that I'd talk to her later and we stopped messaging each other =.=).
At the place, the gang began playing mahjong again while Dong & I got back to the guitar. Soon, I began playing mahjong as well. At nightfall, we decided to start the fire up but since it had begun to rain, we thought that we'd do it on the balcony. After setting everything up, I began to notice how hard it was to start a fire. Yeah, I'd been camping before and I had a cousin who started charcoal fires all the time but I'd always only watched them start the fire so all I had was the theory behind how to start a fire. Putting that into practice was easier said than done because it seemed that I was the most experienced one with fires there. After about an odd half an hour of trying to get the fire to work, Bryan and Dong decided to go on down to see if it would be better to get the thing done in the BBQ pit which was provided and it was. While they were gone, the girls and I were still trying to get the fire started on the balcony. We had resorted to using the gas stoves to start the charcoal burning (sheesh) and it was actually working till Bryan & Shaun came back to say that we should go to the BBQ pit and that was when the gas stoves ran out of gas... Well, we moved everything down to the BBQ pit which was well sheltered from the rain but we were running out of starters for the fire so we had Ivy & Munn Munn go out to buy some starters while we moved everything. I was still unsure how to get the fire started but I was determined to get this thing on the road. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't get the fire started and was pretty irritated that the cold weather there wasn't helping. Ivy & Munn Munn got back with some starters and some tips from a man selling roasted potatoes who had kindly provided them with some wood to help the fire start. With the information and wood, I started to try to get the fire working again. After some antics and about an hour or more later, we had fire. It finally began to work! I was so relieved that we finally got the fire started and that we finally were going to have the barbeque but I was still embarrassed it took me so long. The fun finally began, the girls were doing the cooking while we helped out and played the guitar and sang. Ah, the food was good. The girls did a great job :). By the time we decided to leave it was already way past midnight. We cleared the place up and then went back to our apartment.
We continued playing mahjong and the guitar. Again, I spent nearly all my time with the guitar. That was a truly fun night. I was happy I got the fire started and that we had a great time. It was fun to see everyone have so much fun even after such a tiring day. Ivy seemed to be showing the most emotion :). Well, by 4-ish, we decided that we should get some rest as the next day we would be going back to Bentong because the girls wanted to buy some things from there and we were going to have lunch/breakfast there. So we slept.

Here are some of the photos from the BBQ that night. The one with Bryan & I was funny, looked like we were having a moment. Hahaha.

Tuesday:
Woke up at about 8.30 in the morning to the sound of Dong's alarm. It was My Chemical Romance. I was like "what the fuck, not this and not at this time!" but yeah we had to get up. I was the last one to get ready (cos I just didn't want to get up haha). We took some photos and then we packed up and headed for Bentong. Again it was Bryan and I to one car and the rest in the other. We journeyed down the mountain towards the petrol station at the base of the mountain because Ivy wanted to refuel her car (and Bryan and I wanted to kene some Lassi!). Another fun-filled, interestingly conversed, 40-ish minute drive back to Bentong ensued.
In Bentong, we first went for lunch in this hawker stall which reminded me how some of Klang's hawker stalls looked like in the old days. It wasn't the most hygeine of places but it had that homely flavour. We had what Munn Munn was talking about since Sunday, some fishball noodle thingy. It was good. The prawns were big and fresh and there were like, 5-6 of them in each bowl! I actually gave my prawns away after having 2. The thing is that in Kay Elle, that bowl of noodles wouldn't have been that big, the prawns would have been smaller and been in larger portions and it would probably cost more than RM4.50 (can you believe it?!).
After a great meal, we went back to Bryan's place to return stuff and to rest for a bit. Kristy (Bryan's sister) suggested that we went to the waterfalls around the area and after saying our goodbyes to Bryan's family, we set off for the waterfalls. They were as expected, beautiful, but the waters seemed quite fierce and it was probably because of the rain yesterday. Munn Munn was the first to waddle into the water and Bryan, Dong & Ivy soon followed. I didn't want to follow suit because I was lazy to get out of my sneakers. The funniest thing happenned though, one of Bryan's sandals decided to take a trip down the river (haha). Poor fella had to hop across the tarmacked parking lot back to the car. After taking a few photos, we went back into town to let the girls buy some Bentong ginger (they said it was realy good, yech). After Bryan bought a new pair of sandals (haha), we decided to end the trip with some ice-cream from a famous shop in Bentong (Bryan told me they had Peanut Butter icecream and this had me smiling with glee since lunch). Having enjoyed that, we dropped Bryan back at his place and then we headed back for Kay Elle. The ride back was a bit more sleepy than the ride towards Bentong since we were tired but there were some bends on the freeway which had me at the edge of my seat because of the other stupid drivers around (Ivy was at the wheel, thus I was also worried since the poor girl was also tired). We reached Kay Elle in no time and were invited to have more "tong sui" in Munn Munn's place. After that refreshing drink, I was dropped off at an LRT station and I made my way home.

Here are some of the photos we took before we left Genting and at the waterfall

I must say that I am grateful that I was invited along on this trip and that I had an excellent time with these people. It didn't really matter whether or not we went up to Genting or not because all the fun we had was the time we spent together. I really had a great time and I am looking forward to joining these people for another fun and funny trip someday.
Cheers to the whole lot of you :)

P.S. - This is my longest post :D!

That's Me?

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal. You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk. You should major in: Philosophy Music Theology Art History Foreign language

What Should You Major In?

So I tried it after JoA did. She says it's quite accurate but I say not everything there is true of me. Whether or not you want to believe in things like this is up to you but I'm saying that the answers to those questions they ask can be changed and in changing, they will affect your result. The same person within the span of 2 years might change completely and the professions listed may (or may not) be related to each other. Imagine a person who actually went and doggedly chased after one of the careers in the areas listed for him/her and tried the test and got a different set the next time round. That would seriously attack their security and wonder why they believed this thing at all. This can give you a little bit of insight, just an itsy-bitsy bit to what you might be suitable to go into but seriously, don't take their word for it.

Now That The Finals Are Gone

The finals are over. Should I rejoice? Should I celebrate? No. I'm actually brooding. This was probably the first time ever in which from the mid-terms till the finals, I did not know how to answer that many essay questions. I'll probably get over this by the time the next semester starts - just in time to slack again (I should be shot).
I let myself get distracted too easily. Should I reduce my attention to socialization and should I restrict my personal space and concentrate on my studies for once in my bloody academic life?! All logic and evidence points to that conclusion and I've made that decision countless times before but I have never adhered to it for longer than half a semester. Bah, enough with the rambling upon study-related topics.

Whaddaya Mean Finals?

Well, as I've said, I enjoy doing everything else better when I should be studying for my finals. The exam on Monday was horrible. Bloody Wai Sheng should be shot. I should be shot for not preparing earlier on for that paper too.
Biopsyche in about 11 hours. I have 1 more chapter to study. When I say I've 1 more chapter to study it means that I've never seen that chapter before and everything I see will be something new to me. Well done, I should get a medal for that. Tomorrow will be even worse. 2 papers. Personality is alright, I actually have a clue about what is happenning in that class but for Ergonomics... Oh my God I can contribute to the classes but I largely do not know what is going on in those classes and I'm sure the lecturer isn't clear either.

Well, I will do what I can do now. I shall try to minimize my guitar-use and Dota-play for at least tomorrow because I know that totally failed today. Sheesh, I need to up some points in my self-discipline skill...

Rose Garden

Rose Garden

A Rose, A Petal, A Stalk, A Leaf and Thorn.
Underneath all the shade of the greenery,
In the damp and scintillating scenery,
Does a silent crying, dying heart lay torn.
Betwixt the creepers like something forbidden,
A constellation now, sweet starlets of dew,
Reflect morning sun: kaleidoscopic hues,
Lie true emotions of a soul well hidden.

The flowerbeds are in full bloom and the hedges finely trimmed,
The winds pick up and falls to a halt again, there is silence.
Suddenly, an explosion, as if the sky began to scream,
The Heavens crash down in swift, divine and natural violence.
The Sun, like a savior, drives the clouds away, it finally ceases the rain.
The Garden once more will rise anew, all until lightning strikes it again.

This is my latest piece. I haven't written in a long time. Lack of inspiration maybe? It would be nice to write about something happy for once but I guess that isn't my nature (no pun intended). It may not be the perfect piece but it's a piece of my mind.

Overworked & Underworking

For the past month or so, it's been nothing but assignments, reports, reviews and nothing more. I wonder when I will give in and just collapse.
A day in the life is to wake up at an unearthly hour to catch the pathetic bus to Fuzzy's place so that we can go to college and sit in the mamak stall at like, 7-8am and have breakfast. If Fuz isn't going to college at the same time I am, I would have to wake up at an even more inhumane hour to catch the pathetic buses all the way to college. The fact that I seem to have forgotten how to sleep like a normal human being doesn't really remedy my fatigue. The most sleep I ever get is usually like, 3 hours at most.
I need to buck up. At home if it isn't chatting, then it's DotA or messing around with Clover, I will be doing assignments. Deadlines were made to be used but humans were also meant to sleep at night. The stress all pent up finally is cracking down on me harshly. I just had a pimple outburst! The chronic stress is really getting to me and I'm sure I'm not enjoying it. I've been really irritable, rude and knit-picky because of the stress and the constant lack of sleep. This is so uncharacteristic of me and what I believe I should be.
Procratination will be the end of me.