The frustrated anger from my last post was as always, short-lived and soon overcome. That wasn't something that would create any obstacle at all for myself. What would indeed be hard to overcome is somewhat more substatial than anger. It would have to be the cacophony of all the experiences that we had shared, all the dreams and plans which I had thought would happen one day and the nethermost desacration of my already derelict hope.
I have since decided that I shall just continue to be who I really am. Some minor things will be tweaked and of course I should pay attention to more things and to act when action is called upon. Sitting back and watching things happen is marvelous, yet there are certain things in which one must stand up and act for or against.
I shall take with me bitter-sweet memories and cherish what we once had and scrap everything else which is irrelevant. Irrelevant? What was relevant/irrelevant? This doesn't make things any easier. "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"? Well, I've found loving someone isn't as simple. The reason being that even having lost, I yet still love... Or do I?
"I would say that it is her loss but why do I feel that I've lost so much more?" No matter how that is phrased it ends up being the words of a self-absorbed fool mocking the very foundation of what people call love. Do not approach me and tell me that it is merely a method of making oneself feel better because any fool could look at the bigger picture and see he is but adding to his jug of sadness and only ends up with an overflowing tank.
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