Now You Tell Me...

It's been a while. Apparently I'm not like Pomme-Pomme or others who seem to have a lot to blog about. I don't have photos of my lifestyle which I'm ready to share with the world, a specific interest which encompasses what I do and what I blog about all the time. You notice my labels? Look for wall of shit. That's how I treat my blog. It's my wall of shit and when I feel like taking a dump, I do.

Monday, after my exam I was waiting for Pomme-Pomme to have lunch. An old friend came out of the exam hall before she did. We had a cigarette and my friend asks about You. It was interesting how she did not yet know of the break up but then and again, we were not particularly what one would call close friends. Her question was "how are you and that girl?" and my response to that was "it's almost been a year since we've broken up" but on hearing half of my response she remarked "you've been together for so long?!". "Oh...". Interestingly enough, my friend decided to promote You further. Commending me on being able to get such a "cute, pretty" girlfriend.

For people who know what my blog is like, sorry to keep you waiting, here's the pinch. I was stumped for a while once I heard my friend call You that. My mind could only say, "?!". It pains me to say that I had forgotten what You used to look like to me before it all went South. I have long since not seen the same thing for a while now. It would seem to be that I can no longer remember how I used to be able to drown myself in those eyes and all those times I corrected my cousin that the girl on the street he was checking out was ugly and when he said "yeah yeah, *name*'s the prettiest!" and I would reply with a wide grin and go "of course!". I really wonder where that all went. Does beauty really belong with the eye of the beholder? Has my perspective changed so much? I would like to believe that there is no more venom between the both of us but I can't help but feel the sting every now and then when You appear or turn up in a conversation. 5 hours on the balcony tells me this much, I'm not over this relationship but it would seem that I am over You. Where is the "cute, pretty" girl now? "Not bad, not bad".

I'm lonely, dejected and I miss someone. I just wonder why I really don't give a shit about anything anymore.