After The While...

Gee, it's been 3 whole months since I last posted. Well, things have happenned within these 3 months, things which have - in their own manner - sort of altered my direction in life. A whole semester went by and during this semester (as short as it was), I saw the grimmer side of myself emerge. Already feeling guilty, miserable and lonely, the mundane classes I had to attend didn't really bring out the colour in my leaves either.

The exams didn't really help me enjoy my New Year either. They aren't the worst that I've done so far but they don't really compliment me either. I'm like, Eek!, are my grades already not good enough? What's up with that!? Those 2 lecturers.... they realy overdid it this semester. Asked for too much. They asked of too much from me, who studied too little too late =/.

Coming back to why I stopped posting for so long would be because first of all, I kinda lacked the mood to do anything productive or counter-productive which I felt at that time would take effort and would only make me feel worse. Second to that reason would be because I'd recently moved house to this new area which didn't really have internet access so I was disconnected, discontented and very, very disgruntled.

Oh well, with the New Year, there are my resolutions. Well, the first of them all is for me to completely stop smoking. So far, I haven't touched a stick. The cold turkey symptoms only got to me 3 days ago. Amazing, it took 2 weeks for me to feel the effects. For a while, I thought the worst was already over then the next second, I'm IN the worst part of it all.

Talking about the present, I've begun classes for a week now. My second semester in my second year... With 4 subjects in my face again, life can resume its normal pace at a week at a time. I can look at life as a part of a week again. Maybe I can disconnect from the reality of life and just become a revolving gear in the machine of the institution again. Maybe not. Maybe I need to buck up this semester. Maybe I need to shine. Maybe, I need to actually stop procrastinating and getting work done as I get it.

Well, yeah, I just wanted to rant about the past few months and the whole disorientation I'm feeling about rejoining college and classes.

Man made the Institution but the Institution can mighty well, unmake the Man.