Better Than Bronze

Oh joy, the news is great, I'm almost too happy for him but to what extent does my heart rejoice with his? To what purpose is my celebration of the occurrence? In his namesake? In the name of friendship? Of course. Don't get me wrong, I honestly am happy for him. For both of them. The problem would be that this kinda thing really does remind me of what I've been through (here we go again).

Honestly, I can't continue doing this. I can't keep torturing myself like this. Maybe I should get myself a girlfriend. Maybe not. I should finish off my letting go of her. Maybe I should stop listening to all these sad love songs. Maybe I should start listening to rap. Bah, who the heck am I kidding? Me? Rap? Nah.

Thinking to myself, I've said that I wouldn't make a good wedding-singer because I just don't really do all that many happy love songs. I think I do much better with sad songs and songs of solace. My throat's gotten a bit better but it's still a little clogged up. at least I know I'm healing and that currently there's no sign of relapse.

My good friend asked me, "how do you do it!?" I was shook by her bleak exasperation in her frustrated voice when she said that. The amount of distress. She's only got 5 more months to stop if she's to stick to her plan. I couldn't really give her a proper answer. My answer to that would have been "because I said I'd do it". I think that's probably the true reason why I quit, because I said I would. Not because I needed to. Not because I thought it would save me that much money. Not because it might have been one of the reasons why I'm still single, no. It's because I said I would quit. I should really act more than talk. Putting things into practice for my own sake.

Cheers to my friend and his achievement which was well-deserved.