That's Me?

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal. You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk. You should major in: Philosophy Music Theology Art History Foreign language

What Should You Major In?

So I tried it after JoA did. She says it's quite accurate but I say not everything there is true of me. Whether or not you want to believe in things like this is up to you but I'm saying that the answers to those questions they ask can be changed and in changing, they will affect your result. The same person within the span of 2 years might change completely and the professions listed may (or may not) be related to each other. Imagine a person who actually went and doggedly chased after one of the careers in the areas listed for him/her and tried the test and got a different set the next time round. That would seriously attack their security and wonder why they believed this thing at all. This can give you a little bit of insight, just an itsy-bitsy bit to what you might be suitable to go into but seriously, don't take their word for it.

Now That The Finals Are Gone

The finals are over. Should I rejoice? Should I celebrate? No. I'm actually brooding. This was probably the first time ever in which from the mid-terms till the finals, I did not know how to answer that many essay questions. I'll probably get over this by the time the next semester starts - just in time to slack again (I should be shot).
I let myself get distracted too easily. Should I reduce my attention to socialization and should I restrict my personal space and concentrate on my studies for once in my bloody academic life?! All logic and evidence points to that conclusion and I've made that decision countless times before but I have never adhered to it for longer than half a semester. Bah, enough with the rambling upon study-related topics.

Whaddaya Mean Finals?

Well, as I've said, I enjoy doing everything else better when I should be studying for my finals. The exam on Monday was horrible. Bloody Wai Sheng should be shot. I should be shot for not preparing earlier on for that paper too.
Biopsyche in about 11 hours. I have 1 more chapter to study. When I say I've 1 more chapter to study it means that I've never seen that chapter before and everything I see will be something new to me. Well done, I should get a medal for that. Tomorrow will be even worse. 2 papers. Personality is alright, I actually have a clue about what is happenning in that class but for Ergonomics... Oh my God I can contribute to the classes but I largely do not know what is going on in those classes and I'm sure the lecturer isn't clear either.

Well, I will do what I can do now. I shall try to minimize my guitar-use and Dota-play for at least tomorrow because I know that totally failed today. Sheesh, I need to up some points in my self-discipline skill...

Rose Garden

Rose Garden

A Rose, A Petal, A Stalk, A Leaf and Thorn.
Underneath all the shade of the greenery,
In the damp and scintillating scenery,
Does a silent crying, dying heart lay torn.
Betwixt the creepers like something forbidden,
A constellation now, sweet starlets of dew,
Reflect morning sun: kaleidoscopic hues,
Lie true emotions of a soul well hidden.

The flowerbeds are in full bloom and the hedges finely trimmed,
The winds pick up and falls to a halt again, there is silence.
Suddenly, an explosion, as if the sky began to scream,
The Heavens crash down in swift, divine and natural violence.
The Sun, like a savior, drives the clouds away, it finally ceases the rain.
The Garden once more will rise anew, all until lightning strikes it again.

This is my latest piece. I haven't written in a long time. Lack of inspiration maybe? It would be nice to write about something happy for once but I guess that isn't my nature (no pun intended). It may not be the perfect piece but it's a piece of my mind.

Overworked & Underworking

For the past month or so, it's been nothing but assignments, reports, reviews and nothing more. I wonder when I will give in and just collapse.
A day in the life is to wake up at an unearthly hour to catch the pathetic bus to Fuzzy's place so that we can go to college and sit in the mamak stall at like, 7-8am and have breakfast. If Fuz isn't going to college at the same time I am, I would have to wake up at an even more inhumane hour to catch the pathetic buses all the way to college. The fact that I seem to have forgotten how to sleep like a normal human being doesn't really remedy my fatigue. The most sleep I ever get is usually like, 3 hours at most.
I need to buck up. At home if it isn't chatting, then it's DotA or messing around with Clover, I will be doing assignments. Deadlines were made to be used but humans were also meant to sleep at night. The stress all pent up finally is cracking down on me harshly. I just had a pimple outburst! The chronic stress is really getting to me and I'm sure I'm not enjoying it. I've been really irritable, rude and knit-picky because of the stress and the constant lack of sleep. This is so uncharacteristic of me and what I believe I should be.
Procratination will be the end of me.

Tonight I Wanna Cry

Tonight I Wanna Cry
by Keith Urban

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on
The sound turned down
And a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I
On the walls around me
The way that it was
And could've been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away.

I've never been the kind
To ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong
Meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough
To let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All By Myself", would sure hit me hard
Now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold
Some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
I'll never get over you
By hiding this way.

I've never been the kind
To ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong
Meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough
To let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

I've never been the kind
To ever let my feelings show
And I thought that being strong
Meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough
To let go of my pain
To hell with this pride
Let it fall like rain from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

To let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry...
-----------------------

There is no denying the fact that melancholy is the most beautiful of all the emotions and it is portrayed ever so artistically here. How Keith adds in his country flavour to the lyrics surely is a plus for the effect of the song.
The first time I heard this song, sad memories flashed through my mind and I was taken aback. It's been a while since a song has expressed my feelings so thouroughly. This is definitely a song which I commend. Do watch the video, they usually add even more effect.

Do They Know It's CNY?

Funny, this is the first year ever where Christmas, as simple as it was, was a bigger thing than Chinese New Year. It actually still is CNY now but heck, I still don't feel it. I don't really remember what it feels like. What's left is a vague impression of days of endless fun and food as I watched relatives prance in and out of the house and hand me Red Packets.
What came closest to the feeling of a celebration was how I spent my time in Genting. Went with my Mom but my intention wasn't to mingle with my cousins or to scurry up and down the arcades as I fill them to their brims with tokens. I took advantage of my time alone to catch my breath from everything I've been going through. It was time for me to actually enjoy myself. I took a solitary walk outdoors. The cool wind brushing off my cheeks really revitalized me. I didn't need to actually hear what was going on around me, my mp4 player took care of that. At full blast, I could hear all I needed to hear, as I paced my way around the mountain's roads at night. It was a beautiful night, there were short intervals where fog would set in and it felt as though someone paused a drizzle with all those droplets of water hanging in the air as they watched me pass through them. I'm sure that two hour walk all alone refreshened my mind and restored my vigor for life. I didn't do any motivational thinking, I just had to take a walk to clear my head. It's been a while since my mind was so blank even for that little while. I managed to fit in about half an our of nothing-ness into my head, now that is an achievement if you ask me. The rest of that two and more hours, I was just thinking about my life and the person I've become. I was emo-ing. The problem was that I had no one to fit into that part of the emotion where I could direct my affect to no one. No one but the hypothetical You I could make up in my head.

Now that I'm home, I really wish that I could take another walk like that and not stop walking till my legs ache and I have to sit on the ground. I went up there not for the casino, not for the theme park and not for the shopping, it was for the temperature and the air. I got what I wanted. Definitely.